


Worst kept secret

by TheLadyOrTheTiger



Series: Awkward dorks in love [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bets & Wagers, F/M, Humor, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 07:42:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5240189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyOrTheTiger/pseuds/TheLadyOrTheTiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trevelyan and Cullen thought that the fact that they were in a relationship was a secret. As it turned out, they were very wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worst kept secret

Emprise du Lion was Alissa Trevelyan's least favorite region in all of Orlais. It was all mountains, snow, red lyrium, and misery. She was glad she helped the people forced to work in the mines, and now could go back to Skyhold to deliver some good news to Cullen.

"The Commander will be pleased," Cassandra observed, echoing the Inquisitor's thoughts.

"Our dear Commander might crack a smile for once," Dorian said wryly as they turned back to walk to camp.

"Come now, Dorian. He smiles all the time," Alissa protested.

The devious grin that spread over the mage's face told Trevelyan that she just stepped into big trouble.

"He does, does he?" Dorian mussed. "The Inquisitor only ever sees the Commander with a big smile on his face. Why could that be? Because our dear Cullen is just such a happy, smiley person?"

"Pfft," Sera made a derisive sound. "Mr work work serious business. Yeah right."

"Cassandra - care to weigh in?" Dorian prompted.

"I don't know what you're getting at," Cassandra deflected. Alissa would've hug her for that if she didn't know how awkward that would be for the both of them.

Trevelyan was in no mood to be dealing with Dorian and his game. She and Cullen were keeping their relationship secret for the sake of appearing professional, but now it seemed that the mage at least suspected them of some kind of entanglement. Maybe it would have been better to just tell their friends, but that decision had to be made by her and Cullen together.

"Is our Commander a happy-go-lucky, smiling kind of a person?" the mage specified, not giving up.

"You won't let it go until I answer, won't you?" The warrior sighed. Dorian just grinned in response. "All right. Cullen is rather stern and doesn't smile easily. And there's nothing wrong with that."

"You would think that, serious pants." Sera cackled.

"Don't derail the conversation, Sera," Dorian chided lightly. "We'll get to Cassandra in due time. Now we have something much more juicy to explore."

"Riiight." Sera winked at him.

"I'm exhausted. Can we do this some other time? Like maybe never?" Alissa protested. She was almost certain that they had to have some ideas about her and Cullen, but now was not the time for confessions and explanations.

"The poor Inquisitor is too tired for a conversation? Or maybe she's trying to avoid discussing something? Does she have some deep dark secret, I wonder?" Dorian pressed on.

"I have no secrets. It's just been a long day, what with all those red templar horrors and what not," Trevelyan tried for a light tone and failed quite miserably.

"So, to summarize - our charming leader claims that the Commander, who we all agree is naturally serious and grumpy, is smiling constantly. How could we explain such a paradox?" The mage tilted his head and scratched his chin, pretending to be deep in thought.

"Stop teasing the Inquisitor, Dorian," Cassandra told him archly.

Alissa would be grateful, if not for the fact that she knew that Cassandra's comment was only going to spurn Dorian on.

"It's all in good fun, Seeker. We're solving a very important mystery."

"There's no mystery. We all know that the Inquisitor and Commander are in a relationship. There's no need to discuss that," Cassandra stated simply.

Trevelyan gasped and stopped dead in her tracks. They knew? They _all_ knew?! She suspected that Leliana knew, and now Dorian and Sera, but _everybody else_?!

"Way to go ruining our fun! Spoil sport," Sera whined.

"Indeed, thank you, Cassandra," Dorian joined in.

"That wasn't fun. There's no need for..."

"You all knew?!" Alissa shrieked, interrupting Cassandra.

"No duh, dummy. A blind virgin chantry sister could see the way you two are making kissy faces at each other." Sera rolled her eyes.

"We don't make..." Trevelyan spluttered indignantly.

"Oh nooo... You just constantly stare at each other, glance away, blush, whisper together and oh-so-subtly brush up against each other like lovesick cats," Dorian was ticking off on his fingers as he spoke.

"But we were so cautious." Alissa couldn't believe it. All the sneaking around - for nothing.

"Just because he doesn't stick his tongue down your throat in the middle of the main hall doesn't mean you're hiding it," Sera informed her.

"Who else knows?" Trevelyan muttered.

"Everybody in your inner circle. Some recruits. The servants," Cassandra listed off.

The Inquisitor buried her head in her hands. What fools they were, thinking they could keep such a secret from an entire castle.

"We actually had a bet going on. Several bets to be precise." Dorian was not helping her mood.

"What bets?" Alissa had to know the extent of this catastrophe.

"Whether or not you're doing it. Where you were doing it. When some visiting noble who tries to hit on you will get a punch in the face. When you'll stop trying to sneak around..." Sera was just getting started.

"All right, all right, that's enough." Maybe she didn't wanted to know everything after all. "How would even you know if we're..." She should just shut up, but this was too perplexing.

"That was a hotly debated issue." Dorian nodded thoughtfully. "But the point became moot since very early on everyone who thought your relationship was chaste changed their mind."

"Cassandra - did you know about this?" Trevelyan turned to the warrior.

"I... did." The Seeker looked deeply ashamed. "I tried to get them to stop, but they wouldn't. I certainly didn't participate."

Alissa couldn't find it in herself to be angry at Cassandra. She was sure that her friend did everything in her power.

"Will you stop now?" the Inquisitor pleaded, looking at her two other companions.

"It wouldn't be much fun when you know all about it. Thanks, Dorian." Sera pouted.

"Now that Alissa knows we know, we can get the answers to the most interesting questions, and someone will be rich. Please tell me that you started enjoying all of the Commander's charms after we killed that first dragon?"

"I'm not answering that!" Trevelyan hissed. "And how could you bet about that? You would have no way of verifying it."

"We didn't bet about that. We only shared our theories with each other. And now we can know who was right."

"Was there some kind of 'Alissa and Cullen's perverted enthusiasts group' with weekly meetings?" Trevelyan wasn't sure how she was ever going to get over all of it.

"We weren't clever enough to give ourselves a name. And we didn't schedule any regular meetings. You know how much Varric likes bets. Sometimes a few of us would gather in the tavern, we would start talking, one thing led to another. You know how it is." Now Dorian was starting to look a bit contrite.

"Did Cole..." Alissa didn't wanted to consider him thinking about her and Cullen... She shuddered.

"No!" all three of her companions shouted at the same time.

"Thank the Maker." Trevelyan sighed with relief.

"And Vivien thought it was beneath her dignity," Dorian added.

"Anyone else?"

"No."

"So Solas...?"

"Yeah, that surprised me too. The elfy elf can loosen up a bit," Sera said, sounding like the participation in a series of inappropriate bets elevated Solas in her estimation.

"That's enough. I need some time." Alissa started walking.

"So am I the winner?" Dorian asked, running behind her to catch up.

"He isn't. Right?" Sera wanted to know. "I said you started..."

"You two are on the thinnest of ice," Trevelyan snapped.

"It's more like snow..." Sera started, but a furious glare from the Inquisitor shut her up.

"You can walk ten paces in front of me or ten paces behind me. Your choice," Alissa told them in an angry whisper.

The archer and mage hurried forward, and Cassandra fell into step next to Trevelyan. They marched in silence for some time.

"What they did was wrong. And invasive. And inappropriate. But they didn't have malicious intentions," Cassandra finally said.

"You're defending them?" That was quite a surprise.

The warrior sighed deeply.

"I would never condone that kind of behavior - I wanted them to stop, but in a small way I kind of understand them."

Alissa knew that her face had to be a picture of utter shock.

"They made it crude, but essentially it's very romantic. We watch a love story unfold before our eyes. A valiant and handsome Commander with a dark past meets a clever and beautiful noble thrust into the midst of a fight to save the world. They fall for each other, support each other, and battle to defeat an ancient evil and save their love."

Alissa had to smile at that. It did sounded like something out of a romance novel.

"The way you say it, it sounds sweet. What they did... not so much."

"We all care for the both of you, we want you to be happy - you both deserve it. They just show it in a slightly disturbing way," Cassandra explained.

"They should thank you for advocating on their behalf. I'm not ready to forgive them just yet, but you make a compelling case," Alissa conceded.

"They don't need to know."

"Why?" Alissa was surprised by that.

"I don't want them to get the wrong idea. I still think what they did was beyond wrong. I just know that you care about them and I don't want you to isolate yourself from your friends just because they acted like idiots. That's also the reason why I didn't tell you about the bests when they first started. I suspected that you would react like this. And Cullen would be much worse. I was hoping it would all just stop without either of you ever finding out. I should have known things are never that easy." The Seeker sighed.

"It's not your fault. You did everything you thought was right. There was no correct way to act," Trevelyan assured her.

"Thank you."

They continued walking without any more words. They were almost to the camp when curiosity got the better of the Inquisitor.

"So when did you start to suspect we were together?" she asked the warrior.

The corners of Cassandra's mouth turned upwards ever so slightly.

"I knew there was something going on from the very beginning."

"The very beginning?" That was getting interesting.

"In Heaven my dummies were right next to the training ground. I heard pieces of your conversations. You were both so awkward."

Alissa laughed.

"That's true. The fact that we've managed to actually come to any kind of understanding is a small miracle."

"It was inevitable." Cassandra sounded absolutely sure of that.

"Do you really think so?"

"I've read enough books to know when I see a great romance."

"I've read most of the same books as you, but it wasn't so obvious to me."

"Is it ever obvious to the main characters?" Cassandra asked.

"I guess not." Trevelyan giggled. It was a pleasant thought, being a heroine of a romance novel. "Thank you, Cassandra. For everything. You truly are incredible."

"That's quite alright." The warrior sounded a bit embarrassed.

Alissa decided not to continue at that moment. She just had to make sure Cassandra knew how much she appreciated her.

The ride back to Skyhold was a bit tense. Dorian and Sera were not as talkative as usually, sensing Alissa's ambivalence towards them.

On an intellectual level Trevelyan knew that Cassandra was right. Their intentions were mostly innocent. Or as innocent as speculations about people's sex lives could be. She was sure she was going to forgive them, but she wanted them to stew in the uncertainty for a bit, make them work for her absolution.

On the road Alissa was mostly focused on thinking of a way to break the news to Cullen. For a moment she entertained the idea of not telling him anything, for the sake of all the people involved in the bets, but there was no way to keep it from him, even if she wanted to. Dorian and Sera were going to tell the other gamblers about what happened. One of them would make a smartass remark to him or ask him to determine who was the winner of a particular bet, and he would get to the truth. It would be better coming from her. She would soften the blow, reason with him - do for him, what Cassandra did for her.

Another good reason to tell him would be the chance to be a bit more free and open with their relationship. Of course they wouldn't do any grand public gestures, but at least they would be able to spend a full night in each other's rooms without sneaking around like thieves. The secrecy was kind of exciting in the beginning, but it was getting a bit old. It would be nice to relax and not second-guess herself whether or not she should smile at the man she loved, fearing that someone might see them. Which as it turned out hasn't even worked. For a rogue she was remarkably unsubtle and unsneaky in all of this.

It was mid-afternoon when they crossed the gates to Skyhold, all of them weary from the long journey. Alissa wanted to see Cullen and get a bath, she just wasn't sure in which order.

Her face fell when she saw Josephine walking down the steps from the main hall. That could mean only one thing - debriefing in the war room.

"How much time do I have?" Trevelyan asked in lieu of a greeting.

"I'm sorry Inquisitor, I know you must be exhausted, but we do need to discuss our next move as soon as possible." The ambassador did sounded very apologetic.

"An hour, two hours?" Normally Alissa would tell Josephine that it was all right and smile at her, but remembering that the ambassador participated in the bets made her respond in a much less friendly way.

"Let's call it an hour and a half," Josephine answered. The small frown on her face made Trevelyan feel slightly guilty. As soon as she spoke with Cullen, she had to let the ambassador know why she was cross with her - there was no reason to keep her in suspense. "I've taken the liberty of ordering a bath for you in your quarters," Josephine added.

A bath sounded divine. Alissa looked at Cullen's tower longingly, but in the end knew that she was going to feel more comfortable speaking to him after she washed the grime of travel from herself.

"Thank you, Josephine." Trevelyan send her a small smile. How could she stay mad at Josie?

Fresh, clean, and slightly less tired than before, Alissa went down to the war room. Her three advisors were already there.

Cullen's broad smile made her heart race. In this moment there were no red templar horrors and no bets - just the two of them, overjoyed to see each other again.

"Inquisitor, we were..." her Commander started.

"Eagerly awaiting your presence - some of us more than others," Leliana finished for him, a teasing note in her voice.

"I wasn't... I mean, I was..." Cullen stumbled over his words nervously. "We have work to do," he finished, trying to recover.

"They all know," Alissa stated flatly.That was probably not the best way of letting him know that, but Leliana toying with him made Trevelyan angry. She had to put a stop to it.

"They all... Who? The Venatori?" Cullen asked in confusion.

"About us. They all know. Everybody and their grandmother in Starkheaven knows that we're in a relationship," Trevelyan clarified.

Cullen opened his mouth, then closed it, opened it again...

"But we were so careful," he protested.

"Apparently we weren't."

Leliana laughed lightly.

"Commander, did you truly think that we would not notice how you two look at each other, how you act around each other? I am the Spymaster. Do you think yours is the first 'secret' love affair I've discovered?" Leliana questioned, amused.

"I just thought..." Cullen was clearly at a loss for words.

"You two are just adorable together. No one could miss that," Josephine cooed. "But as far as the outside world is concerned, you still need to be a bit discreet. The Inquisitor especially, but the Commander as well, are a sought after match. We must pretend to keep our options open to gain support from potential suitors," she added, firmly back in the role of the Diplomat.

"I still can't... We were never..." Cullen looked stricken by the revelation.

"Your puppy dog eyes betrayed you from the very first." Leliana smirked.

"I don't have..." Cullen was truly indignant.

"I know what you feel, love." Alissa tested the word in her mouth, speaking it for the first time with other people present. She liked the proprietary feeling it gave her. "I was just as angry when Sera said that we make 'kissy faces' at each other."

Leliana and Josephine laughed at that.

"Sera always has an interesting turn of phrase," observed Josephine. "It's quite apt."

The Commander looked like a storm cloud. An adorable, slightly blushing, but none the less angry storm cloud.

"Brace yourself. There's more," Alissa warned. She had to get it all in the open. "They made bets about us."

"Bets? What kind of bets?" Cullen demanded.

Trevelyan looked at the Diplomat and the Spymaster who appeared fascinated with the markers on the table and what was outside of the window, respectively.

"Bets about very private things which no one should be interested in." The Inquisitor looked pointedly from Leliana to Josephine.

"It was all Varrick's fault! He started it!" Josephine blurted out. "I was just... I'm so sorry."

"Private... things?" There was definitely a note of panic in Cullen's voice.

"It all stops now," Trevelyan stated calmly. "I trust everyone else will be notified of that fact. We've all learned a valuable lesson about privacy and trust, and we can move on... after an appropriate groveling period. And all the money goes to the Hinterland refugees."

"Yes, Inquisitor," Leliana and Josephine agreed immediately.

"Let's get down to business then."

The news spread like wildfire and almost instantly everyone involved with the best, with the notable exception of Sera, started apologizing. Dorian and Josephine were especially contrite, only now realizing what an impact their behavior had on their friend, the Inquisitor.  

It took Cullen quite some time to stop glowering at everybody he saw. Alissa soon started to laugh about the whole matter, but her lover couldn't go so far.

In the end, it was a change for the better, even her stern Commander had to admit that. It was liberating to smile without restraint and not creep from one room to the other in the night.

Just when she thought it was all forgiven and forgotten, Alissa had to have another conversation on the subject. After discussing one of her spies' more daring missions, Leliana turned to Trevelyan with a sly smile.

"I would have won the bet, wouldn't I?"

Alissa couldn't pretend she didn't know exactly what the Spymaster was talking about. She just nodded. That day in the war room, Leliana's knowing look - how could she have deluded herself enough to think that the Nightingale would not pick up on what was going on? Especially after the next time in the library.

"Are you going to let the others know?"

"I'll keep your secret, Inquisitor."

"So you don't care if the other's won't know that you were right?" Alissa was quite surprised.

"What matters is that I know. That's the nature of what I do - possessing knowledge, not sharing it with everyone, and using it only when necessary. Keeping secrets is my specialty. There's pleasure in being the most well informed person. Only a fool would flaunt that."

"I guess I just have to hope that the information that I and Cullen had sex on the war table will never be useful to you," Alissa muttered, not entirely comforted by the notion.

Leliana just smiled and inclined her head.

"I'm probably going to regret this, but what were the other's guesses?" The question haunted Trevelyan for some time. Obviously she couldn't just ask her friends - it would sound like a validation of what they did. Now that Leliana spoke of it first, Alissa decided to sate her curiosity.

"Bull thought you started just after we arrived in Skyhold."

"He would think it were that quick and easy." Alissa snorted, remembering how very cautious around each other they were back then.

"Soon before our departure to Adamant Josie saw the Commander walk into your room and then you join him. She claimed you stayed there for several hours."

"Maker! We were just... Cullen was just hid..." Trevelyan stopped herself. She wasn't about to give the Spymaster more information.

"Sera suggested it begun in the Commander's tent after you returned from the Fade," Leliana went on.

"I was in no state to... He was just comforting me." Alissa shook her head.

"Solas had quite a theory. He claimed you once came to him demanding ice in a very urgent manner." Leliana smirked lightly.

"No! No. Just no." The Inquisitor was quite terrified now. Solas thought they were using that ice... She shuddered. "Cullen was going through a lyrium withdrawal, he was running a fever. That's just... no."

"Blackwall was traveling with the Commander before we went to the Winter Palace. He said that Cullen looked very... pleased the morning they were leaving."

Alissa felt a blush burn her cheeks.

"And Varric?" she asked quickly, not wanting to linger on the thought of Blackwall thinking about what made Cullen so happy. She reassured herself that he couldn't have imagined what really happened, or where.

"Actually, if we're going linearly, Dorian's guess was before Varric's. He thought..."

"I know. He asked me," Trevelyan cut her off.

"Varric was positive it was after the Wicked Grace game."

"Well, that..." Alissa clamped her mouth shut. She wasn't going to say another word. It was a bit worrying how close to the truth some of her friends were, as well as how they've managed to turn some of the most innocent moments she had shared with Cullen into something sexual.

Her curiosity was her downfall again. It was her own fault for asking. There was nothing else to do but try to get over the whole thing... again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I should be reading things for my thesis, but clearly this is more important. No-one told me that getting into the Dragon Age fandom was going to mess with my priorities so much.
> 
> Dorian's first line of dialogue is from the game. When I heard it, this whole story idea just popped into my head. Leliana's comment fit perfectly into that. I kind of felt bad for Cullen, the sweet awkward potato, when she teased him.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. [my tumblr, here there be dragons](%E2%80%9Dthe-lady-or-the-tiger.tumblr.com/%E2%80%9D)


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